My mom taught me to never admire from afar.
I like to get up close to things, to find the center, to climb deep within and look around. I require investigation and almost never believe in the face value of things until I’m deep in.
I want to know what makes you tick, how you think, the choices you make. I want to understand what fuels you. I want to get close in so I can really listen.
When I was a kid we had the coolest, weirdest and most interesting people show up at our dinner table. Anytime my mom read a book that she admired, she’d simply reach out to the author and invite them to dinner. She’d get up close to them to look around. I didn’t know this was unusual… she modeled for me the benefits of genuine inquiry. This also taught me that no one is out of reach based on status or class.
Not admiring from afar is double sided. My need to see and feel and touch and understand more fundmentally the ways of things can slow me down or make me appear obstructionist. Some people walk in and asses in a hurry or simply accept face value and move on. I walk in and search for everything I can’t yet see. That can take a while. Put in an environment of pre-set notions I can push back simply for the sake of making space to know, even if once I know nothing changes.
I come and see before I come and believe. I works for me.
As one may bring himself to believe almost anything he is inclined to believe, it makes all the difference whether we begin or end with the inquiry, ‘What is truth?’ ~ Richard Whately