I’m writing an essay titled “timelines” and the name appropriately represents the theme. I’ve been thinking of timelines latley– Taking stock, measuring what’s been and what is. Noticing trends and progress and stalemates in all areas of my life.
I have a document I first started in 2014 titled “looming” and it listed all these things that were looming in my life, things that need resolution and attention. A global, overarching to-do list. The things that made the list I described as “what wakes me up in the night”.
I filed the document away till September of this year where I updated it and crossed off all but two items.
Today I crossed off one of the remaining two and conciously tried to add more but couldn’t find anything. So I have one remaining answer to the first question. I have one thing “looming” that occasionally wakes me up in the night. That’s damn remarkable if you ask me.
“Timelines” is an accounting of change points in my life.. a weaving together of memories and moments that lead to a conclusion about the questions we need to be always asking ourselves in order to keep our existence relevant and noble.
Philosopher Jacob Needleman asked great questions, like, “who am I?”… His are larger questions than the ones I’m talking about. I think smaller questions matter most. I didn’t even ask “who am I?”, instead I discovered it by asking others first.
I’ll share them with you when I have it done. Until then, give this first one a shot…. “what wakes you up at night?”. Certainly things like unpaid taxes and unforgiven resentments can wrestle with you, but some passions and burning excitement can also be what wakes you… with equal ( or perhaps greater ) relevance.
Sometimes just the process of identifying the question leads to some great inquiry about what’s going on with you, what work you have to get at and what cool next’s are heading your way.
Among the great questions of the human heart, none is more central than the question, “Who am I?” And among the great answers of the human spirit, none is more central than the experience of “I Am.” In fact, in the course of an intensely lived human life — a normal human life filled with the search for Truth — this question and this answer eventually run parallel to each other, coming closer and closer together until the question becomes the answer and the answer becomes the question. ~Jacob Needleman
If you’re into this, Jacob Needleman’s book, I am not I, might also be of interest to you, order it HERE!