I bought the ugliest old house ever built in January of this year. I made it beautiful and today I sell it to someone who loves it more than I ever could.
Everyone told me I was crazy, but I had a feeling. I saw an inner beauty I could reveal. I like to let a house tell me what to do with it, I find the weird small hours reveal the most.. when you walk into a kitchen and you realize what you need, what would work better. Or you stay up late one night with your family visiting and you notice how people should be able to flow, sit, commune. Or the time the sun comes in and suggests all new colors and walls to be removed and the right kind of plants for the front gardens.
I find moving in and living in the space amidst the transformation is key. If I just create a plan and get to work without learning what works and letting the space talk to me, I blow it. The buddha said come and see, don’t come and believe. To hurry is to destroy. But to wait is even worse. I once removed a wall while still in my bathrobe with the claw side of a hammer. I couldn’t wait till 9am when the workers arrived because I knew they would try to stop me, to suggest how impracticle I was being or what rules conformed to their thinking. The key for me is to not ask. I get what I want started before I ask if it can be done and I make it enough of a mess it’s easier for them to do what I wanted versus repairing what I destroyed. This works great because I can override their limited beliefs and judgement of what conforms to logic. This also narrows the pool of who will work with me, I’m ok with that. Just like some friends fade away and some new rise as we transform.
As it nears done, as the final guys pull away, I begin to feel trapped and stifled. I wonder what else I can do, destroy, contemplate, re-build. I want to keep growing and making things more beautiful. I know more can always be done to make stuff work better. And me work better. My mom says that life is a series of three steps, one repeated. Burn, reveal, Burn.
With houses, with words, my spiritual practice, with businesses and with myself, that’s what I do and intend to keep doing.
Burn, reveal, burn.
Let the work teach me what to do.
Start by starting.
Going, looking, going.
Transformation only requires three things: Burn, reveal, burn.