I met and spent the day with a Buddhist Monk this last week, Ajahn Brahm, who said in all his time teaching inside prisons he never once met a murderer or a rapist.
He had only met a person who had murdered. A person who had raped.
He explained the difference by just allowing us to sit with his words in a profound, elongated silence.
A week prior I’d been studying the differences of the act versus the actor and considering how we can strive to love all people but not love their actions.
The work of making compassion constant is the only thing that truly is constant.
My Christian friend always says, love the sinner, not the sin.
I sat with a friend recently who was struggling to honor his father on this fathers day. A man who he perceives to have caused great hurt in his life. Is their a requirement to honor someone who made us? Do we have to? Of course not. But to be truly free? What do you think? Can we acknowledge the beautiful other parts of the same someone who hurt and wronged us?
Maybe the better question is, how do we?
I didn’t know how much my dad loved me until I learned how he loves. When I figured that out I was blown away. I quickly started noticing how people love.
Love is a verb.
Ajahn Brahm left us with this parting wisdom; “We all know, shit is an incredible fertilizer”.
Seeing bad as temporary. Seeing good as temporary. Living in non-judgement to the experiences around us. This has altered my world.