This crazy monk I love likes to say “slowly is holy” and he goes on and on about the benefits of a simple life, always guiding people to slow down and pause.  But the thing is, he’s full of crap. He’s never done anything slow in his life.  I fail in comparison to his extraordinary need to keep moving and doing and serving.  Although his words sound like he’s suggesting I need to slow down and find a sweeter holiness to life, I learned it’s not what he meant.

He tries to explains “”Slowly is holy” has nothing to do with how much you’re into or how fast your life is moving or how quickly you take action.  It’s about slowly reacting to untethered thoughts and emotions versus acting with an unstable mind.  It’s about using mindfulness to pause on the inside, not on the outside”

I had a really hard time accepting this and really felt so bad about myself for a long time. It seemed to me that all the wisdom I read suggests the opposite and I’ve been wildly citied for having my “hands in a million things” and always doing too much and moving too fast.  I’ve lost credibility with numerous people because I appear to them like I’m just spread too thin.

He sighed when I kept asking more questions and says “Go study Osho, he says it best”

I know all about Osho, the controversial and radical mystic, because he was a central theme in my childhood thanks to my mom’s exploration of an inner life.   (In fact, recently I sent her a picture of Osho and she wrote back “He de-hypnotized me from the culture, thank god.  I remember dying all my clothes to match the colors of the sunrise in the basement all alone one day.  While the washer wished around, I stood like the statue of liberty because I finally felt free”

I did as the monk suggested and went in search of Osho’s thoughts and finally got it: “Impatience makes you ugly.  Impatience is a disturbance in your meditation.  Learn to wait. Be patient and trust that existence will give you whatever you are ready for.   All that you have to do is to go on deeper in meditation, beyond mind into silence.   No thoughts, no emotions, no moods, just a silent watchfulness and waiting for whatever existence finds you ready for.”