I spent years trying to create friends, build community and run a company with the Golden Rule in mind… “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. It made all the sense in the world to me…. a very basic principle we’ve all learned and then taught our kids, right?
Honestly, it didn’t work out that well.
Yeah, I became a good guy and had some basic level of kindness as a foundation of who I was… but I wasn’t really making an impact or building larger circles of friends and community. I absolutely wasn’t succeeding in business or building teams of people who succeed with this philosophy.
When I only treated people as I wanted to be treated, nobody understood me much at all.
I think the Golden rule got it wrong.
I eventually changed my language and approach… I began to “meet people where there at” and learned about what they needed and wanted, which may or may not resonate with my own wants. I finally realized “doing unto others” what I wanted back was not validating them as individuals, not recognizing the unique amazingness within each of us.
I’ve found, to truly be kind, to really be in service to others and to actually help people I have to deeply listen, observe and learn what they want, find out how they want to be treated and then the kindest thing I can do ( and the most successful ) is to work with what they are asking for, treat them the way they can accept and understand, use language they can hear, teach in the way they learn, love the way they can receive.
Took a while, I think I finally got it right.