silence is the most powerful screamMy car speakers didn’t work this morning.

The drive in was so awesome–   peacefully amazing really.  The silence was sexy and addictive and exactly what I needed, what I need.

Why don’t I do this more often?  Why don’t we all?

I crave that silence, time to sit and be, hear my inner self, practice meditation, feel…. But I never consider the car as a place for this…

I got to work totally energized and happy- ready and hell bent on hitting it.

Later, the speakers work– the morning peace crushed by the blasting yet wonderful sounds of Aerosmith.

I tried to turn it off and find the peace— but kept turning it back on—reaching, like an addict, totally unconsciously reaching for the dial… creating noise and distraction and avoidance of everything that really matters.

I wanted the silence again so bad.

When it didn’t work, I was totally content and grateful.   When it worked, I didn’t want it, but I couldn’t resist— no matter how bad I needed the silence, no matter how beautiful and amazing and desperate I was for it, I couldn’t find it.  In fact, turned off… knowing it was working again, willing myself to stop… it created the same noise in my head as the music itself.

It occurs to me, the world, our culture, it’s actually designed to distract us.  Disorient us.  Pull us towards something, anything but the present… to create burning desire in us for the things we don’t have.  The stimulation and distraction and visual conflict we are presented with on a second by second basis are staggering and unimaginable really.

I called my friend and suggested we try this practice together, driving in silence now and again, to experience the pull of stimulation and practice resistance to it.    She pointed out that billions of dollars are being spent to strategically stop us from being capable of this.  Our chances of freedom are slim…

She’s right.

Silence, silence from thoughts and stimulation and the world…  in this culture… its really really hard… in fact, it might be one of the bravest missions we embark upon.

However, only in the silence, in the sacred, have I found everything that really matters.

Within the silence, I found tools for a happy life.